Communication with parents and carers

Communication with parents and carers

“It has been important to meet with parents and have positive conversations; the staff that were going out were working with them and listening to them. I think the building of relationships has really made a huge difference” (school staff).

If children and young people experience barriers to attendance, it is important for there to be a close and supportive partnership between school and parents/carers. It is not enough to only try to support the child or young person. A joined up approach is the most effective. 

It is good practice for schools to:

• Have a warm, welcoming ethos that promotes partnerships with parents/carers;
• Have systems and resources that prioritise and promote the attendance of children at all ages and abilities;
• Inform parents/carers about the clear systems that are in place for the early identification of children and young people experiencing barriers to attendance;
• Share relationship based policies around attendance, Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND), emotional wellbeing and transition;
• Make parents aware that they can be accompanied to meetings by someone of their choosing (this could be someone from a parent/carer advice and support service);
• Connect parents with the pastoral leads and key adults who are able to support children and young people experiencing barriers to attendance.

“We've got a team of experienced leaders who contact all vulnerable pupils on a regular basis. That has really helped us to build relationships with parents” (school staff).

“The first lockdown helped with building relationships with parents, we made sure we had lots of communication. We were getting out with the vulnerable families and the families where the young person’s attendance had previously been poor. We built relationships and found that our attendance was better than it's ever been. I think that's because of the positive relationships we have been building” (school staff).

It can be challenging for parents and carers to talk about the difficulties that they are experiencing in relation to their child’s barriers to attending school. Some parents or carers may have concerns that they will be blamed for their child’s absence, that a judgement will be made about their parenting or that they will get into trouble in some way. It is important for schools to join up in a constructive way with parents and carers to consider the barriers that their child is experiencing in a holistic and empathic way, as early as possible, to prevent the situation from becoming entrenched.

“What we find is parents lose faith, they don't trust anybody” (multiagency professional).

“It's about listening. It's about working with the families and respecting that for many, the parents maybe didn't have the best experience of school themselves. So sometimes it's trying to build that non-judgmental relationship. We've met parents off the school site, met a child with the parents in a coffee shop, or even met them on the car park” (school staff).

It is important for school staff to work collaboratively with parents and carers to ensure a joined up approach. The questions below may be helpful in exploring the barriers holistically:

Developmental and educational history

• What were they like as a young child?
• Can you tell me about their early experiences at school- primary school and at the start of secondary school?
• What are their strengths, interests and aspirations
• What are they good at and what do they like doing? Do they have any hopes for the future? Do they know what they want their life to be like when they are an adult?
• Have there been any potential changes or losses within the family or child’s life?
• Can you tell me about your family? Who is your child closest to/most different to?
• Have there been any changes within the family recently?

Relationships

• Do they talk about any other children? What do they say?
• Do they talk about any adults within school? What do they say?
• Who do they get on with and not get on with? Both in school and at home.

Academic progress

• Do you have any concerns about their educational needs/academic progress?
• Do they talk about any specific fears or worries associated with learning?
• Have they spoken to you about what they find difficult about school? What do they say?
• Have they mentioned anything that is going well in school? (e.g. teachers, lessons, friends)

Behaviour and emotional wellbeing

• What does it look like when they are worried and do they talk about how they are feeling? What do they say?
• What happens on a day when they manage to go to school from morning to evening as well as on a day when they struggle to attend?
• What do they and other family members do on days when they do not attend school?

Impact on the family

• How does their non-attendance impact on you and on other family members? How do family members support them?
• Why do you think they have difficulty attending school? (ask each parent/carer separately)
• Are there any differences of views about the reasons?

Exception finding and previous attempts to address the problem

• What was different about times when they have attended school?
• What has been the most helpful thing that someone else has done in dealing with the problem so far?
• What has helped in the past when things have been difficult?
• What strategies have been most helpful so far?

Many of these questions can also be adapted and asked to the young person to explore their views.

“And it's not a pandering to [the child], although schools very often would think that as parents we're just pandering to and, we're taking the easy option” (parent).

“It's not bombarding parents with lots of information, but just having some ideas about some clear strategies” (school staff).